Monday Muse

Grandmother:  HELP!!!!  Where's the manual??  I became a mom in the 50's:  no computer, no telephone, no books!  There in my arms was a perfect baby girl...what was I to do? After seven days in the hospital I went home where there was just myself and my husband and this small human being.  What a challenge!!!  She looked so small in the bassinet and my heart was filled with wonderment.   What comes next?

I think becoming a mother is filled with days of trial and error; nothing is easy.  As I look back on those early mothering days I realize I found my inner self and did grow to cope with many different joys and crises as I bumped along the road of "Motherhood".

I am proud of my accomplishments as mother to my three children helping them grow into adulthood.  The joy they bring is overwhelming as I share in their lives.  The good memories erase the bad ones.  I am proud to be their mother.

Mom:  Being a mother is one of the hardest jobs there is! When my son was in 3rd grade, he came home from school one day with a serious expression on his face. He asked me, "Mom, what does gay mean?" GULP! My mind raced through several answers, click...no not that one...click...maybe that one...click...ok that one.

Feeling rather proud of myself that I had dodged a bullet, I said, "Well, gay is another word to describe happy." YESSSS, High Five!! Uhhhh wait...oh, oh. The look on my son's face told me that was not going to cut it! RATS!

He cocked his head and said, "No, I don't think that is what was meant, because one kid called the other one gay, and that kid wasn't happy!"

Yikes! OK Time to get honest. I said, "Well gay can also be used when two guys love each other."

"Oh!" said my son, "Well then I am gay."

WHAT?! Wait, no! Uhhh, I mean, "Honey, why do you say that?"

"Because I'm a boy and Dad's a boy and we love each other!"

Oh, oh...my brain went into high gear...let's see...hmmm..."Well, honey that doesn't mean you are gay, because it is when two guys who aren't related love each other."

"Oh!" and that was the end of that. My son went off to do something while I collapsed onto a chair, panting.

Yup it sure isn't easy being a mom!

Daughter:  I'm new to this whole motherhood thing, so I have a lot to learn.  But it's amazing what I've picked up over the last seven weeks.  For instance, just the other day I was standing on one foot putting on make-up while the other foot was rocking my son in his carseat. Talk about being multi-talented!  And today I really needed to pick up around our place but Talinn just wouldn't have it.  He wanted constant attention.  So I decided to carry a silver rattle (that I got from my friends) around in my hand while I was making the bed, swiffering the floors and doing the dishes.  It worked.  As long as he heard that rattle, he was happy.  And some nights I lay with my arm draped over the side of the bed while Talinn sleeps in his carseat, so that I can get a few z's.  If he fusses, my arm instinctively rocks him in the carseat.  Motherhood is about being creative, finding new ways to keep your baby quiet and happy.

Aside from the sleepless nights and the difficulty in doing simple tasks like dishes, laundry and showering, I am absolutely head over heels in love with my little boy.  Some days I just sit and watch him.  He can entertain me for hours with his little expressions from his serious furrowed brow to his toothless little smile.  There is nothing like motherhood.  You just fall in love with your child and you forget about how difficult things are and you are just happy.

Worst Snowstorm I Remember

Grandmother:  The worst winter I can remember was the winter of 1949-1950.  Living on a ranch we were more or less at the county's mercy to get the road plowed when it stormed.  The storm hit two days after Christmas with blowing snow and cold temperatures.  The windows in the house were covered with frost, you could write your name or blow a little hole on the pane so you could see outside.  Naturally we had chores to do so everyone bundled up and headed to the barns for feeding cattle and milking cows.  The roads were completely blocked with drifting snow and doors to barns had to be shoveled.  The snow began to pile up.  With New Year's Day just a couple of days away we wondered if we could make it to the annual dinner at the neighbor's.  They lived two miles down the road from us.  My sister, two brothers and I did not want to miss the festivities so we talked our parents into walking the drifts on the road.  Since the drifts were uneven it was an adventurous trek.  My mother did not see the merriment of walking up one drift and down another.  We did make it to dinner and had a great time visiting, playing cards and eating.  The trip home was much longer and everyone complained about the snow.  The county bought a new rotary plow and tried it out on the road leading to our house, it took them two full days to dig through the drifts and free us.  Darn we had to go to school.

Mom:  Having lived in Montana, Colorado and Wisconsin I have seen my fair share of major snowstorms, but the one that is most infamous in my memory was in 1986 when we were living in Herndon, VA. I don't remember how much snow dumped on the area, but it was enough to paralyze Washington, D.C. for days. I joked to anyone who would listen about how easy it would be to invade the country (a precarious statement to make since two secret service men lived on our street). All the Russians would have to do was bring in airplane loads of snow and dump it on D.C. They could then walk right in and take over, because seriously the city was a ghost town in 1986. In fact our neighborhood was strangely quiet and not a creature was in sight...except for two little kids who had been booted out of the house!

School closed and stayed closed for 6 days. I thought they were never going to open it back up again. To avoid ending up crazy and secluded in a padded cell, the kids spent a lot of time outside. You would never guess it, but there were a lot of children who lived on our street...but on this day they weren't outside.

This is why it shouldn't snow in states where they don't have snow plows...I think they finally cleared some of streets with construction graders. Plus they waited for solar heat to do a lot of the melting and clearing.

You will be happy to hear that no children or parents were harmed (at least in our household) during the big blizzard of 1986 in Virginia!

Daughter:  As an adult, I have only been through two bad storms.  The first one was in South Carolina in 2005 where an ice storm caused a blackout that lasted about a week.  Unfortunately, my super cool trendy cement floors proved to be impractical for cold, winter days without heat.  So I spent the blackout with one of my friends and what could have been an awful, lonely, cold week spent under covers turned out to be a really fun adventure where we played games by candlelight and drank hot chocolate by the fireplace.

My most recent storm was not as much fun.  I'm sure some of you heard of the Snowpocalypse that hit the Midwest last week.  It was definitely the worst storm I have ever seen: white-out snow with 70 mph winds and thunder and lightning followed by sub-zero temperatures.  

We spent the evening watching it all from the comfort of our home.  But of course we had to venture out just once so we knew what 70 mph winds felt like and let me tell you they are not fun!  While my dad kept telling me that this storm was nothing and he had to walk home from school in worse blizzards, pieces of Wrigley Field were flying off the stadium; one of the city's main thoroughfares was shut down and people were stuck in their vehicles for 9+ hours; and a lot of the city was without power.  Goes to show him, huh?

When the winds had died down and the snow had slowed, we ventured outside.  And this is what we saw:

Cars looked more like snowdrifts than vehicles.

The frozen, snow covered Lake Michigan looked like it belonged in Antarctica rather than in the bustling city of Chicago.

And our neighborhood was shut down and people were using the roadways as walking paths because vehicles were few and far between.

We are just happy to report that our son was not one of the blizzard babies because that would have been a disaster!

A Look Back at 2010

Grandmother:  2011 is knocking at the door, as I look back over the events of 2010.  I don't know why all the good things stand out, but as I grow older my life is full of good happenings.

The year is filled with family events. Visits from children and grandchildren fill my heart with joy. Our family is fortunate as every one is healthy and busy working, buying homes, decorating them, cooking, traveling and enjoying life. When the grandkids come, it amazes me how much they have matured, gaining everyday knowledge and how willing they are to spend time with us. 

Their visits this summer filled our home with laughter, talking, creating and of course eating. Both our son and daughter make the trip to our place to check in on us and help out with yard work, cooking and aiding us in whatever way they can. Our granddaughter brought great news of an event to be fulfilled in 2011. She shared pictures of her home and how she decorated each room. When I stop to remember her room at her parent's home I can hardly believe she has a talent for decorating. Our grandson has accomplished a new dimension to his life as he and his father got first place for their first try at brewing beer. They entered their product in the brewing category at the Minnesota State Fair. Grandson and his wife have done a great job in redoing several rooms in their home doing the work themselves. They both have a talent for cooking, baking, carpentry and decorating.

All these good things outweigh anything that was bad and I like remembering 2010 in that way.

Mom:  Although most would agree that time goes too quickly, there are probably more than a few who are glad to see 2010 end. With news of a major US oil spill in the gulf, record foreclosures, failing economy, increased joblessness and the growing chasm between the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer, it is no wonder that we are looking to 2011 with a hopeful eye!

Even though the economy was mostly doom and gloom there were some bright spots. Take the iPad for example. Technology continues to shape our culture and iPad sales foretell of even more devices coming into the foray as competitors try to keep up with the ever shining Apple. Having grown up dialing a clunky phone, I can only wonder at what new electronic devices will be out there at the end of 2011. Wifi could be the next dinosaur as I recently read about offices in St. Cloud using ceiling lights to transmit data to computers.

No matter what comes of 2011 I agree wholeheartedly with Grandmother's view that the family unit remains crucial to our survival and that family should be our #1 priority. As communication continues to evolve with technology it should only bring us closer to our family members when we are separated by miles. But there will always be a place for coming together face-to-face and having heart-to-heart conversations the old-fashioned way. Some things should never go out of style!

Daughter:  My husband and I brought in 2011 with a quiet celebration in our new home.  We reflected on the past year and the adventures we've had--searching, buying and decorating our first home; going on a two-week cruise through the Baltic; and an amazing trip to Turkey.  We've had so much fun and excitement this year, it's hard to believe that next year could top it.  But it will as we are about to embark on one of the greatest adventures in life in 2011--parenthood.  We spent some time on New Year's Eve thinking about all the anticipation we've been feeling in 2010 and how our long wait will soon be over.  We thought about the moment we first found out we were going to be parents and the joys and um...not so great joys of pregnancy that have been experienced this year.

And when we think about 2011, we think of it as a year of firsts--the first time we will experience the world around us through the eyes of our child.  It's hard to imagine what this year will bring or how many sleepless nights we will encounter, but we know that no matter what, 2011 will be a year we will always remember.

Monday Muse: Christmas Memories

Grandmother: One Christmas my Grandmother decided that my siblings and I should understand what Christmas was like in her day. Much to the chagrin of my father and uncle, Grandma won out. My Dad got the tree and my uncle got two buckets of water.  The afternoon was spent threading popcorn on strings, with my brothers eating most of it but we managed to get four long strings to wrap around the tree.We asked, "where are the decorations?" Grandma said there wouldn't be any and we wondered what was so special about this tree.

After dinner we were herded into the parlor where the tree was covered with small white candles. My uncle had the buckets of water close by as Grandpa carefully lit each candle. Our eyes were wide with excitement as each candle took the light.  Grandma said in her day this was their Christmas Tree. As we watched the candles gradually melt down, Grandma read the Christmas Story.

Luckily no water was needed to put out a fire and my uncle and Dad breathed a sigh of relief as each candle went out. To this day when I attend a candlelight service I think about that tree and how special it was for our Grandmother to share this tradition.

Mom:  Christmas was always a time of great anticipation and excitement in our house when I was growing up. On Christmas Eve we would visit Grandpa and Grandma D. and have a huge dinner with aunts, uncles and cousins. I was so happy to go because Grandma D. made chicken noodle soup with home-made noodles for the soup course. It was always soooo good and the only time I ever had it was on Christmas eve. There was always a lot of other food, but it was the soup that I remember the most.

On Christmas morning after laying awake all night listening for Santa I would get up with my brothers and go out to see what he had left for us. Our Santa gifts were always unwrapped and in front of the tree and our stockings were always filled and always had an orange plus some socks and candy. No matter how hard I listened I never heard Santa. We would open our gifts and have breakfast and then the family would pile into the car and head out to the ranch to Grandpa and Grandma L's. There would be more presents under their tree and my aunts, uncles and cousins all had something. It was a huge family gathering and after opening gifts we would sit down to another big meal. There was lots of laughing and talking and great fun. I have always appreciated that I was so close to both sets of grandparents and grew up with them very much present in my life. Now Christmas is much quieter as my children are married and we only get together for Christmas every other year. It just makes those times all that more special.

Daughter: Christmas has always been my favorite holiday.  There's just something special about the season.  Even now as an adult, I get giddy like a child as December 25th nears and sad as it departs and we have only the cold winter months ahead of us.

The Christmas season in our home always began with the hunt for the most perfectly shaped Christmas tree.  Every year we traveled to the nearest Christmas tree farm.  My dad would hike the hills until he spotted it--the perfect tree.  And somehow every year it kept getting bigger and bigger until my mom finally put a stop to that.  Once we got the tree home, which never went as smoothly as it should have, we decorated it with all of our special ornaments.  My ornaments were mostly barbie dolls and princesses while my brother's were mostly athletes and cartoon characters.

Christmas morning was always the best.  My brother and I would wake up early and sit at the top of the stairs while we waited for my mom to get ready.  It always seemed like she took forever on those days.  But no one could set foot downstairs until everyone was up and ready.  My brother and I used to try to peer between the railings or down the stairs to see if we could see what Santa had left, but that tricky Santa always had something up his sleeve to make sure we couldn't see what we wanted to see.  Finally mom was ready and we raced down the stairs to see what was hidden in our stockings that no longer hung by the fire, but instead were stuffed to the gills and sitting on the floor.  Santa always left me a note and I relished reading it.

After the stockings were finished, we were on to the pile of presents by the tree.  The order was always youngest to oldest (the best way to do it in my opinion) or oldest to youngest.  And I was always in charge of divvying the presents up.

The last gift to be given is my father's now famous Christmas breakfast.  The steaks are cooked to perfection, the eggs are just a little runny so you can dip your crisp lightly browned hash browns in the yolk and there's always something sweet to finish it off.  It's the perfect end to a perfect morning.

When Does Art Stop Being Art?

Grandmother: To me art is in the eye of the beholder.  Each person must decide for him or herself if what they are looking at is pleasing to them.  I can remember back in time when FDR proposed the WPA and federal money was used to put actors, painters, sculptors, poets, writers and other fine arts people back to work.  Some of their works were criticized and booed and the fact that taxpayers' money was used to finance it, was a very controversial subject.  When we were living in Salt Lake City there was a turmoil over pictures of nudes that were hung in the public library where everyone who entered could view the art exhibition.

Today we have the episode over the Enrique Chagoya art work that was attacked by a woman and destroyed.  I don't really appreciate having one person mutilating a piece of art that I didn't get to view and letting me make my judgment about it.  Now the famous artist Christo wants to put posts and wires along the Arkansas River and hang silks over them.  He has put years of research and planning into his project and some people don't want him to finish it.  What a pity if they stop it, we won't get to see the sky above with the water reflected on the sheer silk.   

Our country is based on the four freedoms, if you don't like it, don't look at it, don't read about it, don't go to view it but for goodness sakes let each individual make their own decision.

Mom:  Art is viewed and understood through individual perception. What one person sees is not necessarily what I see. In my town an art commission works to select public art works which are placed around the city. The art adds a cultured aspect to the environment and it does stimulate conversation. I believe that art should be uncensored. However, having said that, I have a problem with the proposed Christo project over the Arkansas River. Translucent fabric panels will be hung over eight different sections of the river between Salida and Canon City, CO. The exhibit is temporary and I have heard that Christo is meticulous in prepping the areas, installing the artwork and removing it. But do fabric panels hung above a naturally beautiful river really constitute art? I enjoy the river for the vistas and the wildlife and I don't believe that fabric will enhance or add to that beauty. I guess my stance is that art should be original and created from the ground up; not added to or layered upon a natural site that is beautiful just as it is.

Daughter:  As far as Christo's installation goes, I disagree with my mom.  If she feels that this isn't a true expression of art, then what of a painting of a majestic mountain or a field of flowers?  Doesn't that allow the viewer to see the landscape through a different perspective, just as Christo's installation does?  Or is that not art because it's an interpretation of what already exists?

I understand how changing a natural environment needs to be carefully evaluated, but I don't understand some of the responses.  One opponent said: "Hanging rags over the river is the same as hanging pornography in a church."  What?!?!?  And here's another: "I feel bad for those folks out there who need art to see the beauty in the river."  Well, I feel bad for folks who can't appreciate art or change.


Christo is taking every precaution to make sure he leaves the area as pristine as he found it.  And he isn't changing the environment forever.  The exhibit will only be open for two weeks.

You be the judge.  Does this image below evoke any emotion in you?  Does it enhance the area's natural beauty?  Would you want to see it in person?  I certainly would.

Monday Muse: Tea Party

Grandmother:  When I think of "tea party" I remember the Boston Tea Party when the colonists threw boxes of tea overboard to protest the taxes imposed by England, or I remember having tea parties with my Grandmother where we drank milk mixed with hot water and had Ritz crackers. So when I read about the current Tea Party movement in our country today I was very interested.

What surprised me more was that it was originating within one of the major political parties we have, the Republican Party. The Tea Party is made up of voters that are tired of the way the government is spending money and running the country. This is a wake up call for both Democrats and Republicans as the Tea Party is looking to capture 7 seats. With no charter or council the Tea Party is steam rolling across the United States. Here in Colorado, where we have a large number of registered independent voters, it is quite active. Several rallies have taken place in our town alone and the candidates are showing up for debates and answering questions.

What will happen this off year election is anybody's guess and I wonder what it will do for the Democrats with this split in the Republican party.It should be an interesting election in November.

Mom:  I have to admit that I haven't been paying attention to all of the ruckus that is occurring in politics...mostly because I despise the tit for tat campaign ads that run continuously from now until November. So when both Grandmother and Daughter suggested the Tea Party as a topic for Monday Muse, I was caught like a deer in the headlights muttering, "Huh????" I had to take a quick course in Tea Party 101.

From what I've read it seems to me that the Tea Party faction really is just another outgrowth of voters' malcontent. Just watching what it takes to pass legislation in this country is enough to disgust-----well, that is another topic for another Monday Muse!

I think that the Republicans and Democrats need to sit up and take notice. Just because the Tea Party seems to have originated with some disenchanted Republicans doesn't mean that the Democrats won't experience a similar abandonment on their side. Americans are getting fed up with the traditional party dogmas and the good ole boy system that permeates the hallowed halls of Congress.

So listen up Republicans and Democrats------more of the same just doesn't cut it anymore. Walk the walk and talk the talk or else watch out for the new team in town!

Daughter:  I think it's great that people in our country are so politically motivated in a non-presidential election year.  However, when the headliners of the above mentioned politically motivated group are Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, that's where I stop listening.  I couldn't put it more eloquently than a protester of a Beck and Palin event in Alaska: "Palin and Beck 2012: Lipstick and Dipstick."  

The Lipstick and Dipstick rally, known to others as the "Restoring Honor" rally, inspired liberals to jump into the political arena Saturday.  Unfortunately many media accounts, describe the event as lackluster, but wouldn't anything seem lackluster next to Beck's grandstanding?

Additionally, Jon Stewart has announced his Rally To Restore Sanity, a spoof on Beck's rally.  Stewart describes this rally of moderates as attracting people "who think shouting is annoying, counterproductive and terrible for your throat; who feel that the loudest voices shouldn't be the only ones that get heard; and who believe that the only time it's appropriate to draw a Hitler mustache on someone is when that person is actually Hitler.  Or Charlie Chaplin in certain roles."

And it seems that people are actually responding, as more than 100,000 people showed interest in attending the rally just three days after it was announced.

All jokes aside though, I do think the political debate that the Republican movement has unleashed is fascinating and for the most part worthwhile.  Because in the end, I think discussion is better than apathy, even if I don't agree with the discussion.

Proposed Mosque Near Ground Zero

Daughter: The NYC Landmarks Preservation Commission cleared the way for a Muslim center and mosque to be built two blocks from the heart of ground zero.  Although the center is still a long way from fruition, this decision has set off a national furor.  I can understand why people are uncomfortable with a mosque being this close to Ground Zero, but as far as I can see, it's a constitutional issue and that's what really matters.  What I don't understand is the way opponents are expressing their frustration.  Instead of discussing the issue intelligibly, some are lashing out with prejudice and hate crimes.  On top of that, by acting out in this way we are driving more Muslims into the hands of the Taliban.  According to a Newsweek article, Taliban operative Zabihullah said: "By preventing this mosque from being built, America is doing us a big favor.  It's providing us with more recruits, donations, and popular support."

Additionally, the mosque in NYC is supposedly being protested because of its proximity to Ground Zero, not as a protest against all mosques and in turn Islam as a whole.  Well, if that's the case, then why did someone attempt to set fire to the site of a mosque in Tennessee?  Why are people protesting mosques and community centers in Wisconsin, Ohio, Kentucky and California?  

I'll end with one last quote that really hit home for me from Zabihullah: "The more mosques you stop, the more jihadis we will get." 

Why should we let the terrorists win? If the mosque were built, it would show the world that we haven't let the Taliban's actions taint our worldview of Islam and it would draw moderate Muslims to our cause rather than theirs.

Grandmother:  I can remember the World Trade Center with smoke billowing out of the top floors and watching most of the day as it was demolished on 9/11.  Now they want to build a mosque a couple of blocks from Ground Zero.  I can see the people's opposition to it in New York City but one of our four freedoms is Freedom of Religion.  Time has not lessened the smell of smoke, the sounds of destruction, the loss of life and the total frustration New Yorkers felt.  We here on the west side of our nation were not there to feel the devastation of what was happening, but the hateful things going on to stop the building of the mosque is not the right way to go about protesting.  This is still America where we have the freedom to enter into any religion we prefer to practice and build churches, cathedral, temples, mosques and other religious buildings.

Mom:  There is no doubt that 9/11 will live on as a day that we hope is never repeated. But I wonder if there would be the protests and furor if a Catholic cathedral were being planned...or a Presbyterian church...or even a Jewish synagogue? I doubt that people would reject the proposal of any of those being built near Ground Zero. The fact that a mosque is being proposed sets off alarms. The reason being that people associate mosques with Muslims and Muslims are associated with al-Qaida and terrorists. That is where the reasoning goes astray. Terrorists  and al-Qaida are fanatics. They are off the beaten path and they twist and turn and interpret the Qur'an to suit their actions just as Christian fanatics twist the words in the Bible to validate their protests at military funerals and bombings of abortion clinics. Just as the scriptures can be taken out of context, that also is true of the words in the Qur'an.

This is a time for us to educate ourselves about the Muslim religion and the culture of those who righteously practice it. Generalizations and ignorance will only result in chaos, religious discrimination and hatred. This isn't the first time that we have responded with hell-bent fury mindless of intellectual reasoning. Why do we never learn? Mom

SCHOOL DAZE

Since a new school year will be starting back up later this month, we decided to write about our memories of that first day of school.




Grandmother:  School bells will soon start ringing.  When I attended school years and years ago, we had a custodian who rang the hand bell to summon us in to start the day and again at the end of the lunch period.  Sometimes he let one of us ring the bell.  My schooling started with first grade and I attended the S. D. Largent school in Great Falls, Montana.  The first grade teacher was Miss Odegard and there were 15 to 18 kids during that year.

The one thing that I can vividly remember was I had a new box of crayons with all the tips, no broken ones, no tooth marks and crisp paper on each brilliant color.  I treasured that box and used them very carefully.  I lived on a ranch and my Dad took us to school when he delivered milk.  At the end of the day I would walk from the school down Central Avenue to where my Grandfather sold insurance.  Grandpa came to the school each day for the first week and we walked to his office.  The second week I was on my own so I dilly dallied down the avenue and came to his building.  Unknown to me, Grandpa was a block behind me on that first solo walk to make sure I got to his office okay.  Needless to say I think he had some choice words for my folks when we got home.  After that I walked a little faster.  The beginning of school was the first time I ever had a friend that was not a relative.  Many members of that first grade class continued to the sixth grade so the friendships were lasting and fun.

Daughter:  The first day of school was almost as big as a holiday in our household.  There were weeks of preparation beforehand.  Buying freshly sharpened pencils; brand new, crisp folders; and of course finding the coolest, most colorful trapper keeper.  Then there was the search for a new backpack.  Should this year's be blue, purple or red?  It was always a crucial decision.

And of course, if you know me, you know the best part about a new school year is new school clothes.  Every year, we always had a budget to spend on new outfits for school.

The night before the first day of school, our outfits would be laid out perfectly pristine next to our bed with our backpacks stuffed full of all kinds of goodies.  We'd go to bed in anticipation.  And the culmination of all this preparation was the first day of school photograph.  I'm pretty sure we have pictures of the first day of school from kindergarten through to high school.  And of course it was important to model just so, so you could see my pretty new dress and my brand-new backpack at the same time!

Mom:  It's funny how some traditions are passed down from generation to generation. I remember my mom photographing all those first days of school and I continued that tradition with my kids.

Backpacks hadn't become a major school item, but lunch boxes were and every year I got a brand new one. It always was a Barbie lunch box with a neat matching thermos...I was sooooo cool!

Since my mom made most of my clothes when I was younger, the best tradition I remember about the first day of school was the annual shopping trip with my Grandma L. She would treat my girl cousins and me to a day of shopping at a local fancy dress shop. I never got any clothes at that store except when Grandma would take us to get a new outfit for school each year. We would have a ball trying on all different types of dresses and it was agonizing making the final decision on one outfit. There were so many I wanted and Grandma L. would have bought them except my mom sternly directed me to pick just one.

I could hardly sleep the night before school being so anxious to show off my fancy store bought dress and imagining myself to be the prettiest girl in school. Remember that when I went to school girls were required to wear dresses. It wasn't until I was in high school that we were finally allowed to wear pants. Since I grew up in Montana where the winters were cold, we were allowed to wear pants under our dresses but we had to remove them when we got to school. Boy have clothing styles changed since then! Mom

Monday Muse: The BP Oil Spill

 

 Government Response
Mom: The BP oil spill occurred on April 20th and here it is July and they still haven't found a resolution for stopping the spillage. Now the estimate is that more than 1 million gallons of oil has been spilled.

According to the Clean Water Act "the President shall ensure effective and immediate removal of a discharge, mitigation or prevention of a substantial threat of a discharge of oil or a hazardous substance".

Let's see what the government has done. On April 30th President Obama gave orders that new offshore leases will not be issued until thorough review has determined if more safety measures are needed. He authorized an investigation of 29 rigs in the Gulf to find out the cause of the disaster.

On May 11th a press release from the Department of Interior said that the inspection had discovered no major violations. On May 30th Ken Salazar, secretary of the interior, announced a moratorium on drilling in the Outer Continental Shelf for 6 months.

June 9th the FAA announced a no fly zone over the Gulf oil spill.

The Obama administration sent a $69 million bill to BP for the government's costs in clean up. And currently BP is to set aside $20 billion in assets to compensate the Americans who have been devastated by the castastrophe. BP has 4 years to pay into the fund.

However, has the President ensured effective and immediate removal of the discharge, mitigation or prevention of a threat? To some extent, yes. To complete fulfillment...NO! My question is why aren't companies supposed to assume responsibility from the start and have a viable plan to enact when such an incident occurs? This event has demonstrated that oil companies are not prepared when catastrophic problems arise. It is yet another example of being reactive instead of proactive.

Ecological Viewpoint
Grandmother:  Did you know that the Earth's ninth largest body of water is the Gulf of Mexico? The Gulf is abundant with fish, shellfish and shrimp and supplies more of these than the Atlantic, New England and Chesapeake areas. Most oil spills are much smaller and the oil stays near the surface and has less impact. This oil eruption will affect the wildlife, fish, shellfish and shrimp.

The wetlands, beaches and barrier islands are breeding and nesting grounds to many birds and they will suffer when the oil gets trapped and settles.Oil is difficult to remove from the soils and may kill the grass. Herons and Egrets will loose their nesting areas and become unable to move when the oil washes up in these areas.
There are over 45,000 Bottlenose Dolphins in these waters, while some may shift into cleaner waters, many will be suffocated. Sea turtles, whales and jelly fish suffer in these oil polluted waters. Fish will drown because the crude will clog their gills.

Shrimp, oysters and clams will not be able to survive the hostile water once the oil settles in their habitats. The Gulf area supplies almost 67% of the oysters we consume, 26% of the crabs and most of the shrimp.

No one can really say how this spill will affect the wildlife, birds, fish, shellfish, shrimp and oysters and how it will play out in our economy. What a shame it would be if there is such a loss of creatures from this oil spill that species are wiped out. We are the stewards of the Earth and we should do all we can to preserve and protect this land!
 
BP's Response
Daughter:  After BP officials confirmed the oil leak, they said the oil would never reach the coast.  Here we are two and a half months later and guess what?  The oil has reached the coastline and has spread as far as Florida. Yet, BP CEO Tony Hayward has said there would only be a very modest environmental impact on the region.  What?!?!  Why would he ever say that?  This is just another example of BP minimizing the effects of this disaster and skirting responsibility.

In addition, it appears that BP is making money while all of this is happening.  According to The Washington Post, BP's financial lost "might be serious, but [it] probably won't be fatal."

As of May 10th, BP had spent $350 million in the first 20 days responding to the oil spill and it paid claims for a total of $3.5 million.  In contrast, in the first quarter of this year, the company's profits averaged $93 million a day, The Washington Post wrote.  So BP is still making a lot of money

And if BP is anything like Exxon (after the oil spill in Alaska's Prince William Sound in 1989), it will go on to reap profits while contesting its punitive damages every step of the way.

And don't even get me started on BP's numerous attempts to cap the spill.  It sometimes seems as if the public is working harder to come up with ideas to clean up the oil than BP is.  Check out You Tube, where people have posted videos of cleaning up oil with hay, hair and even Kevin Costner has his own machine.  I'm not saying that BP should try these options, I'm just saying that they should be exhausting all options and working around the clock to develop new, viable solutions.

Monday Muse: Tributes To Our Fathers

Mom: 
I don't use a shovel like a girl,
thanks to my Dad!
I know how to hammer, drill and saw,
thanks to my Dad!
I know how to change a tire
thanks to my Dad!
I know how to fix my sprinkler system, install a ceiling fan, repair drywall,
thanks to my Dad!
I'm not afraid to try,
thanks to my Dad!
And for those times when I screw it up, can't figure it out or just get plain frustrated, Dad's there to help me out....Thanks Dad!

Daughter:  Fathers and boyfriends have never gotten along.  I'm positive that this truth dates back to caveman days.  It's just the way it is.  So of course, I always dreaded that fateful afternoon when inevitably my first boyfriend would have to meet my father, who is no easy match.

Mind you I had grown up believing that if I was ever daring enough to bring a boy home, my father would be there meticulously cleaning his rifle piece by piece.  And you can imagine what that would do to a potential second date.

On that fateful day, my father sat in his recliner while his prisoner sat uncomfortably across from him perched on the couch with nowhere to go.  My father then continued with about 20 questions one right after the other.  How are you doing in school?  What are you going to do when you graduate?  What's your career plan?  I mean really what sophomore boy knows his career plan?  After about 30 minutes of interrogation, I was thoroughly humiliated as my father finally pronounced that we could leave.  But really who wants to go on a date after that?  Any chance of romance was gone.

Anyway after first boyfriend and about eight years, I met my soon-to-be husband.  This time there was no 20 questions and thank goodness no shotgun.  I mean I think my husband and father had each other at caddis (if you fly fish, you know what that is).  To all those daughters out there, here's a hint.  Find a guy who enjoys your father's favorite hobby and you're in.

Ever since that first meeting, my father has graciously welcomed my husband into our family.  Well, except for when my husband called my dad to ask for my hand in marriage.  But that's another story for another day.

Grandma: 

Lessons From My Dad

You can do it!  Dad's patient, Puritan
threads wove my life's pattern.
When I unraveled teachings,
he gently pulled, patched the tear.

Good behavior provided slack.Wise
words put tension back.
You can do it!  He coaxed me to reach,
gave Hershey Kisses for rewards.

Respect for elders, good manners brought
praise, shaped my being.  He held the shuttle,
supplied the warp, wove the pattern.
At times it was a very lumpy texture.

Failures knit a carpet beneath
my feet, had to try again.  Job well
done sparkled in his eye, and I was
rewarded with hugs and praise.

His colors faded, edges frayed.
I picked up the string.  You can
do it!  I wound it into a small ball.
My turn to carry on.

Miss you Dad.

Mommie Memories

Grandmother: My memories flood my mind when I think about my Mother. She had red hair, lots of freckles, could swear like a trooper, ride a horse, buy cattle and was ahead of her time. This poem sums up what she was and how I perceived her.

Momma

Momma danced the Flamenco on a gravel road.
Flames of Hell framed her face, licked her ears,
prairie grass colored her eyes.

Corralled by the times, angry fingers drummed
against wooden gates, echoed from the hills.
Her pain pierced a daughter's heart.

Whispered aspirations caught by tumbleweeds disappeared into the wind,
crossed open plains, fell upon the daughter's ear.
Her staccato beat wore away rusty chains, opened wooden gates, pulsed
through parched ground into the daughter's veins.

She was the match that lit imagination, prodded and rankled
when embers cooled. Left a long shadow in which the daughter grew.

Momma danced the Flamenco on a gravel road.

I am thinking about you this Mother's Day.

Mom: Well Grandmother certainly pulled out the creative juices for this one! Yup, that's my Mom. That's the strongest memory I have growing up under her guidance. She always was very creative. Back in the days when there were only 2 channels on TV, no computers, no DVDs, no video games, it was a challenge to keep one little girl and two rambunctious boys occupied....not so hard for the little girl because she was an angel to begin with, but those boys...YIKES!

Mom was great at coming up with activities for us to do. She got down on the floor and played jacks with me. She had us sit down and write letters to the current President in office and ask for photographs. I have signed photos of John F. Kennedy and his family and one of Lyndon B. Johnson and his family. Mom would pull the macaroni out of the cupboard and we would glue it to paper and paint it...or in my brothers' case, they would glue it to their hair and each other. Mom always had us making something on those days when we weren't in school and it was too cold or wet to go outside. She taught me to sew, embroider and crochet. She taught me to cook and bake and passed on her bread recipe to me. She tried to teach me how to can dill pickles, but dang it...mine never came out as good as hers.

For as long as I have been around Mom has been busy learning, making and creating. She is a great inspiration, not only for me but for my children. She is my best friend and I love her a bushel and a peck!

Daughter: I agonized about what I would write for this topic. But as I thought about it, I kept coming back to one memory over and over again. It was a birthday.

My mom came to visit me in South Carolina and we went to Charleston (one of my favorite cities) for the weekend. It was just my mom and me. We did the usual Charleston things. We went to the beach, ate seafood, drank martinis and shopped.

But these aren't the things I remember most. When I look back on that weekend, I remember it as a transition in our relationship. My mom wasn't the woman who scolded me when I watched TV while doing my homework anymore, who told me to slow down when driving too fast or who pushed me to better myself in everything I did.

She had suddenly become the person I shared everything with, the one I turned to for advice, the person I wanted to call when something wonderful had just happened. Somehow overnight she wasn't just my mother anymore she was my best friend, my inspiration and the person I aspired to be like.

Everyone told me this is what it would be like when I was younger, but you just never believe it. And honestly, it's one of the best things about being a grown up--having a relationship like this with my mother. I love how our relationship has blossomed and I trace it all back to that weekend.

Monday Muse: Healthcare

Grandma: What a controversial subject! Healthcare! Boy if you want to discuss this subject with other people you get a lot of different views. Living in a town that is full of senior citizens I have to wonder where their views come from especially when they say "I don't want government doing my healthcare." What do they think Medicare is if it isn't socialized medicine run by the government!!!!

I am for universal healthcare, but I think they railroaded a bill through and didn't give it a lot of thought. Our children, grandchildren and great grandchildren will be paying for it for years.

Where is the equality in the coverage when it forces people to carry it? If they don't have money to pay for premiums now where are they going to get it later? How do the homeless and unemployed people get coverage?

Making insurance companies take out the pre-existing clause in their contracts is a good thing. Uncapping the maximum to be paid out is also a benefit. I think we have a start with the bill passed, but it needs a lot of work to get coverage to everyone without penalties. It will be interesting to see what our representatives and senators do next.

Daughter: I'm a little lost when it comes to this issue. There have been so many different versions of this bill on the table that I found it difficult to keep track of them all. Eight months ago when this all started, I was excited to see what would happen and what would change. But now eight months later, I'm exhausted with the topic and all the political crap surrounding it. And I know that this is probably true of many of my peers.

I really got turned off listening to all the political back and forth and the stalemate between the Republicans and the Democrats. I think what will be more interesting to me is what happens now. What will change? And how will this all play out?

Mom: Assign a project for the government to complete and you can be guaranteed that they will make it as complicated as possible before coming to a conclusion. When the bill was introduced it contained 176,276 words. By the time Congress got through with it there were 395,096 words!

As many pages long as the healthcare reform bill is, I wonder how many of our esteemed representatives have even read the bill. Do any of them even know entirely what it is that they voted for or voted against. I think that our healthcare system needs revamping, but I get so tired of the bipartisan finger pointing that it seems like Congress is more of a circus event than a body of legislation.

If our representatives had chosen to work together to come up with a masterful plan for healthcare reform then maybe someone wouldn't have to explain to me exactly what it is that has been passed.

Dumb, Embarrassing Moments

Grandmother: During my lifetime I have a book of embarrassing moments, so it is difficult to just pick out one. Probably my worst one was the time my husband and I had to go to a wedding reception and I had not picked up a gift. We drove downtown to get something and could not find a parking space. Remember this was a long time ago; no malls, no parking garages. So Grandpa decided to drive around the block and wait for me. I ran in and got some towels, had them gift wrapped and ran back outside and waited for Grandpa. I waited, waited and waited. Finally I saw the car coming down the block and I dashed out, threw my package in the back seat and proceeded to get in and yelled "What took you so long?" I looked over and saw this stranger looking at me speechless and wondering if I had lost my mind. I very quickly removed myself and slammed the door, when a voice rang out "Ma'am you forgot your package." I grabbed the gift and felt so dumb I couldn't say anything. I often wonder about the story he told about the crazy lady who climbed into his car.

Mom: Grace has not been one of my strongest attributes. In fact no one in my family has ever been accused of being graceful. We are pretty much all klutzes. Unfortunately my lack of grace usually rears its ugly head not at home when I am alone, but in the throes of crowds. Such was the case on the day when I exited the grocery store, pushing my shopping cart out into the parking lot. There are square stone blocks placed between the sidewalk entrance and the paved parking lot and as is typical with these types of blocks there are gaps between them. As I merrily pushed my cart, one of the wheels got caught in one of those gaps and my cart went up on two wheels. Feeling that I could somehow get the cart back upright by placing myself off balance, I clutched with both hands and raised one leg to thrust the cart back into the proper position. How I ever thought I could achieve such a feat, I do not know. Because within seconds the cart was toppled onto the ground with groceries spewed about and I was half under the cart flat on my backside. Since the only thing hurt was my pride, I quickly looked around while I jumped to my feet to make sure no one had witnessed my inelegant plop. YES! No witnesses. I scurried to gather up the spilled groceries when out of nowhere appeared a young man. His concern registered on his face when he asked, "Ma'am are you ok?"

My first inclination was to say, "Yes, go away!" But I refrained and said I was ok as he collected my groceries and my purse and handed them to me, once again asking if I was ok. I did thank him as I hustled to my car. It just would have been so much better if there hadn't been an audience...even if it was an audience of one. At least it is nice to know that if the situation had been more serious that someone would have stopped to help! Oh....and the other good thing is that I hadn't bought any eggs or anything in a glass container!!

Daughter: Once you hear this story, it will sound like it's made up. But alas, it is not. Every detail from start to finish happened...and unfortunately it happened to me. It was Friday afternoon and I was working at my bureau post for the local newspaper. I was packing up my things at the end of the day when I got a phone call about a breaking news story. Silently cursing my luck, I got in my car in a flurry. A tornado had just touched down near an elementary school about 40 minutes away. I rushed to the school to interview teachers, parents, students and the principal.

The weather was awful. After the tornado touched down, cold wind and rain started beating down on us. And of course I was wearing business casual clothes, not the most appropriate attire for post-tornado weather. So I was cold and very wet but went about my job anyway.

I had to call into the office every time I interviewed someone or got another piece of critical information. So I was in and out of my car a lot. Well, I was in a hurry and after I called my editor with the latest news, I hopped out of my car and quickly slammed the car door shut. In my head a panic bell went off and I immediately tried the door. My heart sank, as my hand told me what I already knew--the door was locked. I quickly searched all my pockets in a last ditch effort before I realized the truth--I was locked out of my car. And in this scramble I accidentally stepped in a huge red ant hill. So there I was locked out of my car, soaked to the bone with little red welts up and down my legs, more helpless than the children who had just been face-to-face with a tornado.

Now I was really cursing my luck and after assessing my options, I realized I had no choice but to swallow my pride and go up to one of the police officers and humbly ask for help. The officer, who I had interviewed several times during the course of the night, thought I was joking and looked at me like I had two heads. And he reluctantly called the police station to have them send a guy over and it cost me $40. Then I had to make the dreaded call to my office and let them know the situation.

Eventually the guy came and let me in, but my job was not over. My editors wanted me to stay at the school until the last person left. In other words, I didn't get home until 9 p.m. I remember sitting in my tub at the end of that horrible, embarrassing night and thinking how glad I was it was over. I mean really how much stuff can happen to one person in a night?

Monday Muse: Public vs. Private Education

This is our first Monday Muse post, where each of us will offer our viewpoint on a variety of topics the first Monday of every month. Our first discussion is on public education and private education.

Mom: I have always been a proponent of public education. I grew up attending public school and worked as a speech pathologist in public schools. Our family was fortunate in that we lived in places where the public schools were of high educational standing. There was only one locale where my husband and I considered private schooling for our children. But in the end we agreed that if we didn't place our children in public school then we would not be faithful to our philosophy. If public school is not supported by the public, then it will eventually become less stringent in educational achievement and it will only offer the most minimal education for those who can't afford private school. Schools are successful when there is an investment of time and attention and that is best given by parents and by the community. It is a parent's responsibility to reinforce education. A parent needs to support the school in volunteering time to help in whatever capacity he/she can. Parents have to be actively involved in the PTO of their child's school. They need to check on the homework assignments and make doing homework an important part of their child's day. They need to communicate regularly with the teacher and they need to reinforce that school is a priority and learning is the number one activity in their child's day.

So what, you say! You can do those same things in a private school setting and pay for a better education. Well remember that one place where we almost enrolled our children in private school? If we had done that, our children would not have attended a school that exposed them to racially different schoolmates. It would not have allowed them to learn about and develop respect for other cultures. It would not have enriched their lives beyond book learning. In my opinion they are far richer and better educated to have attended a public school. Oh and as far as their educations...they went to universities that were top ranked in their areas of study and got university degrees just the same as those children who attended private school.

Grandma: I say amen to what Mom said. I am also a proponent of public school systems. My husband worked for the school district and had first hand knowledge of how it worked. Very seldom did a school bond levy get voted down. The people in our town knew schools had to be supported. Teachers were well known and respected for their dedication to their profession. There were times when I disagreed with a teacher's discipline philosophy but after discussion with the teacher and my child things got worked out. All three of my children knew how to read by the time they got out of first grade due to the diligent efforts of their teacher. All three of them attended colleges or universities, so I am thankful that they had the opportunity to be taught in a public education system.

When I attended grade school there were very few private schools in our area so it was pretty much left up to the public schools. The teachers I had, Miss Odegard for first grade, Miss Brady for second, Miss Caseman for third, Mrs. Luke for fourth and Miss Burns for fifth and Miss Torkelson for sixth grade left an impression on me for all the things they taught. My education was a good one and was based on the three "r"s. We respected our teachers as leaders and educators.

I am not against private schools and I can see a need for them but we need to support the public schools. Every child needs an education and we need to support our teachers. The "no child left behind" program could be better, if the teachers and principals had more input in it and if there were more volunteers among the parents to help tutor the underachievers. This country of ours is built upon the public school system and we owe it to all the children to help them get a good education.

Daughter: I was raised to believe in public education, but slowly I've begun to question its merits. While I was a reporter, I saw first-hand the condition of schools in rural South Carolina. In most schools, teachers were working with dated materials and crumbling facilities. There were no bells and whistles. And unfortunately this was not an area that supported its schools. When there was a referendum for more taxes to improve the condition of the county's schools, an overwhelming percentage of residents voted it down, because they didn't understand why students needed new computers, or a roof that wasn't leaking, or walls that weren't crumbling. And contrary to what they thought, these things did affect the quality of education.

I have seen schools that look like small universities with smart boards in every classroom and Olympic sized swimming pools. But then there are those that have been forgotten--where buildings are deteriorating from age and the education is woeful. Sadly, the difference lies in the wealth of an area. It seems that those children who happen to be born into a poor region of the country have less opportunity to grow and advance than those who were born into wealth and opportunity.

My husband and I will face a very big decision once we have school-aged children because public education in Chicago is awful. It's not just bad; it's terrible. Most people either move to the suburbs once they have school-aged children or they pay for private school. Is it better to move to a new wealthier locale, where there are excellent public schools, or to stay where you are and pay for a private school? Are you really supporting public schools in that case?

Some people believe that the more parents support private school, the more likely it is that public education will become a poor man's institution. But maybe if we have school choice, public schools will no longer have a monopoly and they'll be forced to compete against private and charter schools to attract their customers. When an organization has a monopoly, they have no need to have the best product. If they have competition, they have to offer the best.

I know that the solution is much more complicated because it really comes down to dollars and cents. And if the federal government and state government can't commit more money and local residents won't either, then there's really nowhere to go.